Not shocking: Cornell frat has contest to see who can have sex with fat women; Also not shocking: Everyone pretends to be shocked

One thing we don’t do here is try to impress you with our worldly sophistication and lack of outrage at immoral behavior. When we hear about people doing detestable things, we don’t see it as an opportunity to show you how unfazed we are about the whole thing.

That? That’s been going on since time immemorial! Sorry if you’re not up to speed about what happens in the real world.

Yeah, that’s not what we do here. We take sin seriously and we’re troubled when we see it. And if it’s going on everywhere and all the time, that doesn’t make us feel any better about it.

Now, having said that, one thing that might be even worse than rampant immorality is people pretending to be outraged about it when you know darn well they tacitly approve it – so long as their doing so is not made public.

Would you find it surprising that a college fraternity had a contest in which the members tried to see who could have sex with girls for points, and the heavier the girls, the more points you’d get? Of course you wouldn’t. This is the sort of thing that goes on at colleges, and particularly in fraternities. It’s awful. It’s disgusting. It’s repugnant.

But surprising? Not a chance in the world. This is why people with brains in their heads don’t send their kids to such institutions.

So if you and I aren’t surprised, how could the officials of the college or the fraternity’s governing body claim to be surprised? Or shocked? Or outraged? These people know what goes on under their noses every day, and of course they’re not shocked.

But when such an incident becomes public, they have to feign outrage for the consumption of the public. That’s how we end up with absurdities like this at Cornell:

University officials launched an investigation of the Zeta Beta Tau fraternity last year after hearing reports about the secret game, in which members could get ‘points’ by having sex with women.

In the case of a tie in the contest, the win would go to the member who had sex with the heavier woman. The new members were told not to inform the women about the contest.

Cornell’s fraternity and sorority review board determined the chapter was in violation of policies against hazing and sexually abusive behavior.

The fraternity said that the allegations were contrary to its values and mission and that the chapter’s leadership and brotherhood at large were “shocked and appalled” about the unsanctioned activities.

The fraternity said it will conduct a membership review in partnership with its international headquarters and expel any members found to be not committed to the fraternity’s ideals and values. It said it will host multiple educational programs on healthy relationships.

Oh for goodness sakes. Cornell frat members aren’t interested in “healthy relationships,” and no one at Cornell or among fraternity officials thinks they are. Cornell frat members want to get as drunk as they can and have as much sex as they can, whenever they can, because they’re animals.

Like every other college fraternity in America. And the people who establish and run fraternities know perfectly well that this is the lifestyle and “values” they’re pitching when they try to get students to join.

No one joins a frat hoping to live a squeaky clean lifestyle and make it to Bible study on Wednesday nights. You can live in the dorms or an off-campus apartment and do that. You join a fraternity because you want to party, carouse and fornicate.

And universities who agree to charter these organizations know perfectly well that’s what they’re getting into. They hope that none of the debauchery gets so out of control that they have to deal with it publicly, but every college and every university knows students want to party during their college years  – and none of them want to be the school with a reputation of not having a hot party scene.

That’s what makes the statements of indignation from the school and the fraternity so vulgar. They don’t mean it. At all. They’re saying it for public consumption because they don’t want the criticism that would come with failing to speak up, but their ongoing acceptance of fraternities on campus means they both know and accept what happens in those houses all the time.

The immorality itself is a cancer on society, but here’s another one: People feigning belief in morality strictly for PR purposes, when everyone knows they don’t really mean it and everyone is basically fine with that.

The university’s concern is not the sex contest. It’s the details of the sex contest becoming public such that the university has to answer questions about it. The fraternity’s claim of being “shocked and appalled” is so hilarious I can hardly write this without busting up laughing.

You’re a fraternity! What do you think your members are doing? Why do you think they joined?

These people are either extremely naive or completely insincere. And I don’t think they’re naive.

But I also think today’s culture prefers an insincere nod to morality rather than a serious commitment to the real thing. If you just say it because you had to say it for public consumption, and everyone knows that, then we can all get back to doing what we do – but keep the door closed next time.

But if you actually mean it and you intend to impose real limits on people’s moral behavior, now you’re getting in the way of a whole lot of fun and causing students to consider taking their tuition money elsewhere.

Yet these institutions have such little respect for you, they think you’ll be satisfied when they issue these insincere claims of shock and horror, followed by nothing whatsoever of any real consequence changing.

I think I’d rather have them announce they’re fine with students doing anything they want – not because I would agree with such a policy, obviously, but because it’s clearwhat they really think, so putting it out there in the open would give us a chance to deal with it honestly, rather than making us digest dishonest claims that they really agree with us about right and wrong.

By the way, if this contest did not target overweight women – an attractive victim group in today’s culture – do you think there would be the public criticism of it? If they had just had a contest to sleep with as many girls as possible, would anyone even be talking about it?

They should be, but I bet they wouldn’t be.

Don’t leave without buying books! They’re freaky good!